5 Mile-Stone

Tonight something really amazing happened: I ran 5 miles on the treadmill, without stopping, and without feeling like death may come any moment. While this may not seem huge, it was.

Five miles has always been (well, since junior year) my signature distance. I blame my dad, who made me run this distance with him at home. Since I adjusted to that reasonable length everything else seemed too short. A 3 mile run only takes around 30 minutes and burns about 300 calories: not enough in my mind. So, I only ever ran 5miles or longer.

Then, last January, my dad and I started in on the "1,000 mile year". A goal which requires 20 miles per week for 50 weeks. I ran this as 4, 5 mile runs a week. For 2 months. Then I burnt out and ran maybe 10-15 miles a week (on a good week) until I fizzled out completely in May and got fat. So, in short, I haven't run 5 miles at a time, consistently, since like last March. That's pathetic (in my mind).

Because of all this, I was dreading the 5 mile run that has been staring me in the face for the past 4-5 weeks. The glaring figure on my schedule haunted me like Saw II never could. I simply did not think I could get past this mental hurdle again. And I didn't want to fail. Last winter I often did 5 mile runs indoors and it was fine. Then I had the burnout and couldn't get past one or two miles without a struggle.

But, I did it. I felt great after two miles. Still strong after three. I upped the anti at 4 and did some hills, then picked up the pace, and alternated this in half mile increments for the last 2 miles. It felt incredible. I can't really put my finger on why it felt so good, but I think it's a combination of accomplishment and confidence. I broke my biggest mental barrier by once again working up to my "signature" distance, and I felt strong doing it.

I know I have much longer runs ahead of me but they seem that much more do-able since I was able to destroy the 5 mile hurdle. I'm also looking forward to running outdoors on these Sunday long runs, another fact that's keeping me going.

I now approach this next week feeling strong, confident, and dedicated. I am my own worst enemy, and if I can control that, I can do anything.

Taking It Slow

Monday marked the start of week three. Aileen had the brilliant idea to repeat week two before moving on to the additional miles of week three. I agreed that it would be a great way to build up a little more strength before progressing. Sometimes taking it slow in the beginning is a far better decision than pushing it. So, this week we will run two 3 mile runs and a 4 mile long run before advancing to two 3.5 mile runs and a 5 mile long run. We have about 3-4 extra weeks to play with because the program is 12 weeks and the half isn't until May 16th. This is a beautiful thing.

As for my personal running, I feel stronger. It sounds ridiculous that only 2.5 weeks back on track could produce results, but I think it's happening. I'm enjoying my running days, starting to notice improvement in endurance, and generally feeling good about things.

I had an epiphany a few days ago: About a year ago, I stopped exercising when I felt stressed and started turning to other, less savory, outlets. BAD IDEA. I feel about a million times better when I workout after a stressful day than when I have an emotional meltdown (or a drink). Maybe it took a few months off the wagon to realize this or maybe I'm becoming a bit more rational. I'll chalk it up to running because we all know I am farrrr from rational. Whatever the case though, these past few weeks of running have felt good- physically and emotionally, and I'm excited to keep on going.

It's week 3 and quitting is not an option.

Infinitely More Awesome

To keep my millions of fans appropriately updated, I do need to discuss the 2 runs I completed after last Tuesday's run. Thursday night I did a 3 mile treadmill run. I was filled with terror before stepping on the belt thanks to the pain and misery leftover from Tuesday morning. My fears soon vanished though as I embarked on one of the best treadmill runs I've had in oh, a year. It was one of those rare combinations of energy and rage that powered me through to a strong finish. It felt great and was extremely empowering.

Which was good, because Friday morning I had to wake up and run 4 miles before departing for Columbus. I decided to run on the Towpath because I had the rare opportunity of running outside during the day. For some reason it never entered my half-wit mind that there would be a blanket of snow on the trail. When I realized this I chose to run on it anyway. Why? Because I'm stubborn and I like to feel superior. I had another great run which was again very uplifting. I also realized I was awesome. I ran 4 miles in conditions that could best be described as sand-like. I ran 4 miles in snow that was like sand on a cold Friday morning and I decided I was infinitely more awesome than everyone else in the world at that moment in time.

If you had told me this a year ago, I would have laughed. 4 miles was nothing to me then but after taking the better part of a year off of running, it felt like a significant accomplishment. It gave me back some of the confidence I needed and, dare I say, made me feel like I may once again be bitten by the running bug. Fingers crossed.

A Day Late & A Dollar Short

Well, that title is a bit misleading. I'm right around 4 days late in terms of blog posts and many, many dollars short. I spent the weekend in Columbus, Ohio, God's metropolitan gift to man. I had an absolutely ridiculous and fantastic weekend with my friends. It was a great boost for my spirits as this cold winter drags on. It was not, however, a boost for my marathon training plan. I ate like garbage and imbibed a bit more... eh... fluids... than necessary. Today I woke up feeling completely exhausted, obese, and laaaaazy. Thank heavens the only thing on the marathoning agenda is stretching and strength. While this weekend was incredibly fun, it was also eye-opening. College last four years for a reason and serious runners take care of their bodies very well. I'll pretty much be on the straight and narrow until May 16th when this race takes place. The best way to fall off the racing wagon is to fall off the wagon. And I refuse to quit because I didn't take care of myself.

Morning Run

Well, it's day 3. I haven't done my workout for today yet but after yesterday, that seems like a good thing. As I dragged myself out of bed yesterday morning and hopped on the treadmill, I was filled with many emotions. The foremost being anger. I was angry that I was unable to pop up with loads of energy to direct toward the treadmill. I was also very curious. How are some folks able to do this?

Don't get me wrong. I've been starting to make morning workouts somewhat of a routine. If 2 or 3 days a week counts as a routine. I can wake up and cycle without much trouble and I can certainly wake up and swim with the elderly women of my building. I cannot, however, wake up and run.

As I limped my way to the finish of 3 miles I cannot say I was filled with joy and accomplishment. It was more a feeling of dread: is every run going to be like this? When I was in better shape, 3 miles was a cinch. Yesterday, the only thing cinching were my quad muscles.

Right then and there I decided indoor running will be done in the evening . Kudos to those who can hop up, throw on their shoes, and plow through a treadmill run at 5:30 am. I will, as always, accept my weaknesses and watch Tuesday & Thursday night programming as I plod along for miles. But tonight, I will bask in the glory of cross training.

Day 3 and I haven't quit yet. Cheers.

Beginning

I'm really good at starting things. Really really good, in fact. I've started applying to grad school, then backed out. I've started committing to jobs, then changed my mind. I start projects and never finish them, make lists and lose them, plan events and watch them fizzle out. Perhaps the most glaring "start" I've made is half-marathon training. As those closest to me will confirm, I have planned on running 3 half- marathons in half as many years. How many have I finished? Not one. Not even close.

Now, I'm one to believe that every person has strengths and weaknesses. I'd like to think I'm a leader, a go-getter, and an all around put-together person (at least nowadays). However, my strengths do not lie in finishing things. As I spend this year of my life trying to grow up a bit, I want to focus on weaknesses and turn them to strengths. Therefore, I must finish something. Anything.

So, why not a 13.2 miles? Sure, it seems perfectly easy to commit to on a cold January night. But really, this is insane. This is insurmountable. What the eff am I doing to myself? I'm practically waking up in cold sweats and I've only started day one.

Luckily, I have agreed to run this with a longtime friend who is much more committed of a person than I. Letting her down would be terrible, so I'm hoping that fact will motivate me.

I have decided to chronicle my journey through the 3.5 month training program. It may be painful and miserable for me, but at least it should be entertaining for someone else. Let the quitter's half- marathon begin. 103 days and 13.2 miles to the finish line.